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For the first time in my life, and I feel a little pompous saying this, but for the first time in my life I feel like I know the answers to the 2 greatest mysteries of all time. I am referring of course to the questions “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?”
For most, if not all, of my life I have experienced some form of confusion, anxiety and depression. When I was about 22 years old I tried killing myself. I felt isolated, separate and desperate to be approved of by others and society in general. I was uncomfortable in my own skin and I would lightly self medicate with food, alcohol, drugs and pornography. Not so much that it seemed like I had a problem, but enough to take the edge off of resisting life.
On the outside I looked good, though, and I used this as a way to feel better about myself as well. I knew I was relatively good looking, charming, had a way with words and came across as a very nice and kind young man. I usually had plenty of money, and if I didn’t I was good at getting it.
Webstie: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXpL4OXSmktqlP6_S5p5jIQ